Thursday, March 17, 2005

Love: A Reality Check!

Once again while surfing the blogs, another hot topic (giving God & Politics a day off) is love and relationships.
I came across this blog, and it’s the question and the writers response that inspired me to view my thoughts on the subject.
The question was from a woman who had been with a man for over five years, and she asked the host if she really was in love, or was with someone she was just used to!
His response was maybe a little jaded (admittedly), because he was skeptical of love, and thought of it more as an illusion.
In my opinion the answer to her question is, it’s both.
There is the life long debate about loving, and being “in love”, and the difference between the two. The fact that she has spent five years with the same guy shows some of evidence of love there. I’m sure there’s affection, and caring, and other things(!), but now after five years, is this it? Is there more? Or Isn't There More?
In response to the response, that “true love” as a mere illusion, I offer this to both of them.
Love is defined is a strong positive emotion of regard and affection. I think that most of us can agree that this exists and is all around and therefore love defined as such is a reality. I love my parents, my brother, my friends, my co-workers, my cats, and yes even my ex-girlfriends. I don’t hesitate in sharing my feeling for these examples and have a strong positive emotion of regard and affection for them.
What happens is that we have inherent and instinctive “needs” for companionship and the melding of our lives with someone else. We are to be brought up and educated to provide commerce and at some point we get together with someone and get married and have children and the process starts all over again. For a lot of people this seems fine, but for some of us there seems like there should be more.
It’s the “more” that we are ultimately searching for. We called it love, and it is very often mistaken for love, because it is a very key part of it, but it is so much more. This we can debate as illusion, because it is not defined, and if you could ask ten people what the “more” means to them, you will probably get ten different answers.
In searching for the “more”, self matters. You must come to grips with your “aberrations” and really self evaluate what the “more” means to you, and why you want to invite another into that. I have seen so many fine and affectionate people simply give themselves up in the name of “love”, without ever exploring themselves and the wonderful things that actually make them “loveable” to fill this “need” to be loved, or married or a parent, and never asking why, and giving themselves enough time for them to get a honest answer.
In my opinion five years is enough time to figure out if there is “more” there or not. It’s scary to have to decide to move on or not, but it’s even scarier to realize that there could be someone that gives you “more” all along.
My best wishes to all of us who are searching for “more”!

That's All I Have today,
Happy St. Patricks Day,


Anonymous said...

i know that our discontent is an evolutionary necessesity, that without it there wouldn't be any progress, but man, sometimes i just want to rest from the search for more. sometimes i am deeply envious of those who have learned how to settle for less.

but i'm sure this is just a phase.

thanks for the post.

JErm said...

sunbather » don't ever envy mediocrity.. soon you'll find yourself chained to it.. it's like a plague!!

peter » i just found out you trackbacked my post.. thanks man! :)

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